This is the month of Black History & Love. Two things that definitely should not be contained to a single month.
When I talk about relationships, the first one I want to explore is the one you have with yourself. I need to know if you are loving you.
If the answer is No, then you have some work to do.
Self-love is absolutely the best love.
Who Teaches Self-Love
A big part of life are your relationships.
I think it is so easy to focus on the relationships you have with other people, so much that you forget about the most important person in you life, YOU.
Like Katt Williams said, “you are the star player”.
I don’t remember when I fell in love with myself, but I can think of the many times I was told or shown not to love myself through embarrassment. This came in the form of criticism from peers and adults around me.
Think back to when you were younger; Can you recall moments that defined you in the wrong way?
These defining moments, good or bad, affect the ability to love oneself.
If you are always being told you are too this, or too that, you will believe it instinctively. Feeding into these beliefs lowers your confidence and self-esteem.
Your internal stock drops, and you may start not to like certain things about yourself, or you begin to change to fit someone else’s mold and over time you forget to the the unique, and beautiful soul you were created to be.
If you’re like me, it’s later in life when you realized those things that you are criticized about are the very things that make you unique.
Eventually you begin the embrace them and the cycle of self-love begins, this is the work I do through Sacred Wellness Alchemy™ and my signature coaching program The Rebirth Immersion.
What I really want to know is why the cycle?
Where does loving yourself begin and end?
How does all of this occur?
I don’t remember anyone sitting me down and telling me that I should love and accept myself growing up. I knew that I liked myself and that I had talents, but I seemed to be around so many people that didn’t agree.
Loving yourself starts with community. Children don’t know anything but what they feel, are shown, and taught. I love being around children because they are so honest and curious. They have a hunger for life.
The adults, caregivers, parents, family, teachers, that a child encounters help to shape their world. Sending messages of love and acceptance are vital from the community.
Experiences Shape Our Becoming
What you see, things that happen, events you are a part of, the people that influence you all shape who you are becoming.
These all play a factor in who you BE.
It goes hand in hand with the nature vs. nurture philosophy.
Nature are the experiences, nurture are the people.
If as a child or adult you are not getting messages of acceptance, beauty, intelligence, and love, you may grow hate the skin you are in.
Once you become an adult you have a choice to make, you can continue to hate yourself or take the steps to loving yourself.
I think we are born loving ourselves. Everything a child does they think is amazing, and it is. Life is amazing and wonderful, and challenging. I feel like I am all over the place but I am writing from my heart today.
The key to embracing everything about you starts first with you!
Even as an adult we, shape the next generation.
It is a big responsibility and an important one.
I have two little girls and I give them all the nuggets of wisdom that I have, tell them how special, intelligent, and beautiful they are.
Most importantly I teach them to love themselves. Even with that, especially as children grow and experience different things, they may have to learn to love themselves over again.
I went down a path of self-discovery and it was so freeing.
When you love yourself no one can shake you.
No one knows you like you do, and don’t let anyone else define you.