Today, I want to talk about pouring into yourself. Filling your own cup and restoring your spirit, especially when life feels like too much. If you’re anything like me, you tend to carry and care for a lot of folks—friends, family, your work, your children, your community.
Sometimes, giving so much leaves you last on your own list. I know that feeling all too well.
What Pregnancy and Change Taught Me About Rest
I really learned (and had to embrace) restoration during my last pregnancy. I’m coming up on a year postpartum now, and looking back, being pregnant taught me the importance of slowing down and being gentle with myself.
When I first got pregnant, so many things went sideways at once. I had to suddenly close my business—a decision I hadn’t planned to make so soon. Then, my landlord decided to sell the property, and I found myself almost 7 months pregnant and having to move.
It truly felt like one thing after another, just an absolute ordeal.
Whatever I had pictured, life was not having it.
But what stood out was that, because I was pregnant, I had to protect my peace—not just for me, but for this little one growing inside me. I understood deeply that every bit of stress, anger, or heartache I carried, my baby would feel too.
So, even though I couldn’t control the chaos around me, I made conscious choices to surrender and ask myself, “Okay, this is what’s happening. How am I going to handle it?”
Learning to Surrender Amidst the Hailstorm
That time in my life felt a lot like standing outside in a hailstorm with no covering… one thing after another. There was no option left but to surrender. When chaos popped up, I just had to say, okay, this is what it is. It’s not what I wanted. It’s not how I planned. But how will I move through it? What’s the next step?I want to share a little bit of how I learned to pour into my own cup in those chaotic moments because, honestly, so many folks I know are facing their own storms right now.
Chaos: The Energy of Creation
One thing I realized, and it helped me so much: chaos is the energy of creation. I know that sounds a little wild at first, but stick with me.Chaos is messy. It’s disordered, painful, overwhelming—a kind of madness.
But it’s also the birthplace of something new.Whether we’re talking about turmoil on a societal level or a personal one, I found strength in remembering that everything is made up of moving energy, even when it seems still. Stars are born, they die, they collapse—it’s all motion, it’s all change.
As an artist, I know you don’t start with perfection. The first sketch is messy. From that mess—if you let it be—you create something beautiful. That’s how I like to look at chaos: it isn’t always breaking me down. Sometimes it’s moving me somewhere, helping me build something I can’t yet see.
How I Keep Pouring into Myself
Let me be real: when life is chaotic, it’s not about pretending everything’s fine. I don’t believe in shoving down feelings or slapping sunshine on mess and calling it a rainbow. We need to acknowledge what’s real and also look for meaning, for something to carry us forward.Here are a few things that help me pour into my cup:
Journaling as Therapy
Journaling is my therapy. Sometimes I write by hand; other times, I use an app on my phone or even leave myself voice notes. If I have too much swirling in my head, I just hit the record button and talk it all out. Sometimes I delete those recordings, just to release the energy and set the intention that I’ve made peace with that moment and am moving forward.
A Real, Embodied Gratitude Practice
Practicing gratitude saved me, but not in a forced or fake way. I started my gratitude practice over 20 years ago, at a time when I could barely find anything to be grateful for. Some days, the only thing on my list was that it didn’t rain or that I ate a decent meal. Over time, I learned to find genuine silver linings, not because someone told me I should, but because it was the one thing I could hang onto.Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be grand or impressive. Sometimes it’s as simple as wearing a dress that made you feel pretty that day, or hearing a squirrel rustle through the trees and laughing because it brought to mind Chip ‘n Dale. Let it be real.
Meditation for Silence and Spirit
I came to meditation while working through depression. For me, depression was like having a terrible mix tape stuck on repeat—a constant loop of negativity, sometimes my voice, sometimes echoes from others. Meditation was my way to turn that noise down, to find slivers of silence and, within that, my own awareness.Over time, I learned those negative thoughts weren’t even all mine. Meditation helped me separate from them, turn down the volume, and eventually, toss out the whole record. It doesn’t have to look a certain way—walking meditation, washing dishes, dancing. It’s anything that gives the mind some space to breathe and pass thoughts through like clouds.These days, sometimes my meditation is just rocking my baby, being with her, letting the moment interrupt me. That’s perfectly okay.
Body Movement over “Exercise”
I call it body movement, not exercise. That language helps me take the pressure off—it feels less restrictive and more joyful. Movement can be dancing, walking, jumping on a trampoline, qigong, yoga, whatever feels good.In late June, I finished my 200-hour yoga teacher training—a dream of mine since 2005. I’m not teaching yet. Right now, I’m rebuilding my personal practice, learning what yoga feels like inside my own body again, not just jumping out with my certification. My body’s also been loving qigong. The flowing movements feel very somatic and grounding.Movement clears stagnant energy. When I’m dancing or walking, clarity and inspiration just flow in. The mind opens up and new ideas rush in.
Rest is Sacred
We move, but we also need to rest. Sometimes that’s a nap, sleeping in, or just letting myself wake naturally if I have help with the baby. My dreams have been vivid and energizing lately—sometimes providing guidance and insight.Rest is healing. It’s important, especially when life feels like too much.
Prayer and Passion
No matter what or who you pray to, prayer grounds me. I pray for peace and restoration. I also try to explore things I’m passionate about. If I want to watch a movie, I do. If I feel like painting, skating, taking photos, collecting rocks—especially things I loved as a child—I let myself lean into those joys. Those are the things that make me who I am.
Romancing Myself
Another thing that’s changed how I move through life: treating myself like I’m dating myself. Life is already hard. There are plenty of things out there that don’t offer us love or kindness—let yourself be the one who does.I slow down with myself—even something small like applying lotion or eating a favorite meal. I savor it, make the ordinary special, and treat my life like it’s a love affair. The more I love myself, the more that energy just radiates outward.
Remembering My Accomplishments
I started an accomplishments journal—a place to write down what I’ve done, goals I’ve achieved, and affirmations. Whenever I start doubting like, “What am I even doing? Is this the right thing?” I look back and realize how far I’ve come, even if the progress is slow. It’s a gentle reminder to celebrate myself.
Boundaries Matter
Staying away from people, spaces, or media that drain me is crucial. That doesn’t mean I ignore the world, but I’ve learned to be mindful about what I’m letting in. I used to tolerate too much from people out of empathy, but upholding my own boundaries is non-negotiable now. I get to decide who and what enters my space, and it’s not about being mean—it’s about valuing myself and protecting my peace.
Focus on What I Can Control
There’s so much happening right now that can make us feel powerless. I try to focus on the things I have control over—even small things that help me feel a little better, a little more grounded. If there’s a cause I care about, I find a way to get involved. If someone’s energy doesn’t fit, I decide what access they have to me.
Balance Isn’t Always What We Imagine
I used to think balance meant everything in my life had to be perfectly even: equal time here, equal time there. I’ve let go of that idea. Now, I see balance as a dance. Some days, 75% of my time goes to family, other days, the scales tip the other way. It’s never about a perfectly divided pie chart.Balance, for me, is flowing with whatever comes—doing what I can, when I can, and not beating myself up for the rest. That doesn’t mean giving myself permission to procrastinate forever, but it does mean being honest about what I can hold, what I need, and not forcing what isn’t there.
Letting Joy Lead
At the end of the day, the main way I keep pouring into my cup is by doing what I love. I love learning, so I’m always curious, always studying or playing with something new. I’m letting myself be more intentional about making videos and sharing pieces of my journey—my stories, the lessons I’m learning in real time.I hope something in this resonates or moves you. Thank you for letting me share. Peace.