Today, I want to share some real talk about my own healing journey and the truths that have surfaced along the way.
Going Deep with Healing
A couple of weeks ago, I started a healing session using essential oils. I wasn’t quite ready for how deep that work was going to get, y’all.
I set my intention to deal with some challenges I’d faced, expecting certain things to come up.
What surfaced, though, was something much deeper, something I hadn’t even realized was still there. And honestly, I’m glad I cracked that shell, because it’s pushing me inward, making me look at parts of myself I had swept under the rug.
My Divine Purpose: Love
Let me just say—love is my purpose.
That’s the dominant energy that flows through me all day, every day.
Love, connection, relationships, that’s the heartbeat of who I am.
Sometimes I ask myself, “Am I truly embodying that? Am I centered in who I say I am?”
I get real hard on myself. I check in constantly, questioning if I’m walking in love the way I’m meant to.
But in the process of doing this forgiveness and healing work, I keep forgetting to extend love and grace to myself.
Facing Old Wounds
All kinds of things surfaced. I thought I was completely healed from an abusive relationship in my past. I’d said I’d forgiven, moved on. But here I was, still carrying parts of that pain. Today I had to be honest about that. I realized I wasn’t giving myself enough grace for what I’d survived. I wasn’t celebrating how far I’d come. Instead, I was stuck in criticism, not growth.
The Truthful Card: Honesty in Healing
This morning, I pulled the Daily Fool’s Wisdom card. Today’s card was “The Truthful,” all about honesty. The funny thing—it didn’t get many comments or likes, which told me something. Folks shy away from truth because it forces us to look at ourselves with courage. The inability to be honest isn’t just about other folks; it starts with us being honest with ourselves.
If you can’t sit with your truth, you can’t name your hurt, your anger, your unforgiveness. That’s why people numb out with things that appear positive—working out, binging shows, scrolling online—so they don’t have to wrestle with what hurts. If you’re honest and you know you’re moving through pain by going to the gym or doing yoga, that’s one thing. But when you just distract yourself, you’re not healing—just hiding.
Self-Awareness and Grace
Let me keep it real: I’ve been through a lot. From near-death experiences, heartbreak, to situations that should have made me bitter.
Yet, I’ve chosen to stay loving. When people compliment me, tell me how kind and healing my energy is, I still struggle to fully receive it.
I realized today it’s because I haven’t always given myself the grace I need for true healing.
Looking back ten years ago, whew, I was a hot mess. Hurting and carrying things folks never even knew about. It’s wild how quickly people judge your current chapter without knowing the chapters you had to survive to get here.
Today, I honored my truth. I let myself feel some hard things, and at work, I actually found myself crying as a scene from my life replayed in my mind.
It felt so good to just release. I’m still doing energetic work, clearing out the stuff that holds me back from feeling as loving as I know myself to be. Self-awareness isn’t always cute, but it’s necessary. Sometimes you just gotta ask Spirit, “What do I need?”
Forgiving Myself
Forgiveness is layered, y’all. I’ve forgiven my ex, the relationship, the situation. I honestly feel like I’ve done that work. Still, I realized there are parts of me that I haven’t fully forgiven. There is growth in that realization, for me and for anyone witnessing this.
Forgiveness starts with honesty.
You have to be honest about where you’re still hurting, where you’re still not open, and why. Here’s the real: whenever we have to forgive someone else, we also have to forgive ourselves.
We are co-creators in our situations, whether good or bad. It doesn’t make what happened right or easier, but to begin healing, I had to acknowledge my own role, like staying in a relationship when I knew I deserved better.
One of the hardest truths I ever had to swallow was realizing my part in a situation…even one as heavy as an abusive relationship.
That doesn’t excuse someone else’s actions, but self-honesty is the root of transformation.
A lot of relationships falter because we only see what the other person did, not how we contributed or where we abandoned our own needs. Seeing your own role isn’t self-blame; it’s radical self-responsibility.
Instant Gratification and Avoiding Truth
Right now, folks want instant fixes, instant communication, instant validation. Technology can help, but more often it just lets us run and hide from the real work. Instead of talking things out, we slide into someone’s DMs or get lost scrolling, numbing more than feeling. All that pain we hold on to—it’s not meant to punish us. It’s there to help us grow.
Transforming Pain into Purpose
For me, every hardship, every moment of heartbreak became a lesson. My spirit was calling me to integrate what I’d learned so I could become who I am today. So that when I cross paths with another sister needing help, I can say, “Me too—let me show you the way out.” Maybe I went through it so someone else won’t have to.
Even now, as I speak this, I’m teaching myself. Sometimes the wisdom comes full circle, and I realize I’m exactly where I need to be to learn the next layer.
The Trap of Self-Righteousness in Spiritual Work
Being in this spiritual, healing space, it’s easy to slip into self-righteousness—thinking, “I’m so evolved, I’m lit, I’m balanced. You need to catch up to my vibration.” But that’s not what it’s about. Honestly, when I was with my ex, I tried to pull him up, but it just dragged me down. When I finally let go, we both went where we needed to be.
Sometimes our gift is simply letting people be where they are, giving grace, and not trying to fix or rescue. And I have to practice that with myself too. I can be so critical, holding myself to impossible standards, forgetting that compassion is a tool for my healing as much as anyone else’s.
Tools for Healing: Letter Writing and Release
To move through some old energy, I’m writing a letter to my ex—not to send it, but to say all the things unsaid over fifteen years. This is something I tell folks all the time: if you’ve got hurt, no matter how big or small, write it out. Whether it’s your boss, your ex, the person who cut you off in traffic, your own aching body—write to it. Let it out. Burn the letter if you need to, just safely.
There’s a peaceful spot near my parents’ house, down by the river, where I sometimes take my letters. I burn them, let the ashes scatter, or let the water wash them away. Nature soothes me, especially water, and my spirit is calling for more of that connection right now.
Aligning with the Energy of Healing
Right now, astrologically, Chiron—the healer—is active. If you feel like things are bubbling up in your life, this is your sign to tap in and do the healing work. Essential oils, meditation, aromatherapy, candles—whatever tools support your process, use them. This is what I’m leaning into. I’m excited to see what transformation is waiting on the other side.
Closing: Grace, Forgiveness, and Honesty
So, as I wrap up tonight, remember: forgiveness starts with being honest—with yourself first. Give yourself grace in the midst of your healing. Let honesty, forgiveness, and love meet you wherever you are on your journey.
Sending you all love as you navigate your own path of healing and transformation. If you’re looking for community, the Light Warrior Sisterhood is holding a challenge that’s been right on time for me. Don’t be afraid of your truth—embrace it, forgive it, and let it set you free.
Have a blessed and blissful weekend, family. I see you and I honor your journey.