Learning to Hear Your Own Voice Again
No matter where we are on the journey of healing, there comes a point when we have to pause and ask ourselves, “Do I trust myself?”
For many of us, especially after enduring heartbreak, manipulation, or finding ourselves in situations we never planned for, like single motherhood or the end of a relationship.
Trusting ourselves again can feel like climbing a mountain.
I’ve been there, and I want to share how relearning to trust yourself is not only possible, but essential for living Abundantly Ever After.
Why We Lose Trust in Ourselves
Sometimes, life takes us through unexpected twists and turns.
Maybe you found yourself in a relationship that didn’t turn out the way you hoped, or you experienced betrayal, manipulation, or gaslighting.
For me, becoming a single mom was never part of my plan.
When my relationship dissolved, I questioned everything:
How could I have been so wrong?
How could I trust myself to make good decisions again?
It’s normal to internalize the blame, to feel the weight of guilt and shame, especially when society adds its own judgment.
I carried the stigma of being a young, single mom and let it lock me in to a toxic, even abusive, relationship far longer than I should have. That made me hesitant to make decisions and fearful I’d only choose wrongly again.
But here’s what I learned: it’s not always that you made a bad decision.
Most of us choose to love and trust with open hearts, believing in the good in people.
That isn’t wrong—that’s being human.
But when we pour ourselves into someone who doesn’t value or respect us, we hurt ourselves in the process.
Rebuilding trust in ourselves starts with recognizing that loving openly is not a flaw.
The Power of Boundaries and Commitments
One of my first steps to healing was to stop listening to everyone else’s opinions about my life.
Friends, or those I thought were friends, were often more interested in the drama than in supporting my healing. Once I recognized this, I pulled back.
I stopped sharing my journey with those who weren’t truly there for me.
Instead, I found support in therapy, where I could process my experience and come to my own conclusions.
That’s why now, as a life coach and ordained minister, holding space for others is so important to me. I know what it means to need that support and not have it.
I also learned about boundaries! The kind that keep you safe while you’re still learning to trust again.
Sometimes, that meant changing my number, moving, and physically removing myself from toxic situations.
Other times, it was as simple as not answering my phone after a certain hour or saying no when I needed space.
Boundaries aren’t just for keeping others out, they’re for teaching yourself what respect looks and feels like. Every time you keep a boundary, you show yourself you can be trusted.
Clarity: Reconnecting with Who You Are
Coming out of heartbreak, the hardest thing can be knowing who you are and what you want.
Grief, pain, overwhelm can cloud your vision.
One of my favorite exercises, which I often share with my clients and in my community, is about gaining clarity:
Who are you now?
What do you want next?
Motherhood changes us.
Heartbreak changes us.
But every ending is a new threshold to cross.
When I finally began to reclaim my dreams… I always wanted to host a talk show, and that dream led to my YouTube channel and me starting a podcast.
I learned the more I made decisions for myself, the more I rebuilt my inner trust.
You have to remember: your life is yours to live. No one else can decide what’s right for you.
Building Self-Trust, One Day at a Time
Trust isn’t all-or-nothing.
Start by noticing the ways you already trust.
Whether it’s trusting yourself to care for your children, or to get up and get moving each morning.
Then make one daily commitment to yourself, whether it’s journaling, walking, or simply taking a moment for joy.
When you keep that promise, even when it’s small, you show yourself that your word matters.
Every act of self-care, every boundary, and every commitment kept is a step toward living Abundantly Ever After. Trust yourself.
Believe in yourself.
Love yourself—because you absolutely deserve it.