Peace and Blessings! Welcome to another episode of The Abundantly Ever After Show! I'm your host, Jovhannah Tisdale, and today's episode was going to be called “41 Flavors of Me,” but I chose something different.

Recently I celebrated my birthday and am sharing some reflections about my journey live Abundantly Ever After along with the wisdom I've gained.

I also share thoughts on physical health as a spiritual practice and the power of our thoughts. This is such a good episode! So, let's embrace personal growth, step into our power, and get ready to live Abundantly Ever After!

Links Mentioned:

Energy of Love 101: Introducing the Frequency of Love

Energy of Love (full course)

Follow @jovhannahtisdale on IG

Fitness as a Spiritual Practice

Show Transcript

Episode Intro

Greetings, peace, and blessings. Welcome back to the Abundantly Ever After Show.

I am your host, Jovhannah Tisdale. I am a healer, an oracle, a priestess, a mother, a writer, a creative, here to help you heal, grow, and thrive so that you can live abundantly ever after pain and trauma.

In this episode, I want to talk about and just give some reflections on my birthday. So it was, at the time of this recording, almost a month ago.

Actually I was going into my website, because I remembered I drafted a well, began drafting a post to share some birthday reflections. And I was like, let me just record. Initially, I was gonna do a video recording but I was like, okay, I'll just do audio for today.

I'm still navigating, setting up how to sync the podcast microphone with my computer and the camera and stuff, so I'm not quite sure how to do that yet, but I as soon as I figure that out, I will be doing more video podcast episodes because I do enjoy recording video.

But that's neither here nor there.

I'm really excited, so I'm gonna take a breath. And I invite you to take one with me.

A Monumental Birthday

So, my birthday! This Birthday was a very special, very monumental birthday for me. And I say that because it marks a year and a month or so of absolute change, of growth, evolution, and expansion.

So if you have not listened to the previous episode, 21 Days of Expansion. In that episode, I was sharing in how, you know, I set a commitment to myself during the month of October. 21 days to really be committed to completing tasks that will help me quantum leap into the version of myself that I am coming.

And so it's all been very beautiful.

The Fourties

41. I'm 41 years of age. I love forties. It's been beautiful for me. I remember one of my teachers, Sora Schilling shared with me when my 40th was coming up, she was like, forties is different.

You have gathered all of the things that you need And you were trying to, you know, fit things together, but in 40 it's like you know how to wield all of the tools that you've gathered through life. And it is just a different shift in mindset at this age. And I find that that I love myself so much more.

You definitely give less fucks about what other people think. The fuck you forties thing is very real. And I feel like 41 was even more important to me than forty. I did not really do anything. I was healing from a major loss a month before my 40th birthday.

I had a miscarriage. I'm not gonna talk about that right now, but that is something that I want to share more about my experience. And it's also something I'm writing about in a book I've shared I will be have a work that's been in progress.

It's called Pain in my Womb, and I wanna talk about child loss through, like, miscarriage, whether it's abortion or other forms of child loss. And share not only my story, but I also would like to gather stories of other women, because it's something that we all experience that we're not alone in.

And again, these are things that I probably would not Be so readily able to talk about, but I'm at a place in my life where I know everything that I've experience. Everything that I've been through, all the things that I've learned are so:

1. that I could grow, and
2. So that I can help other people.

Helping Others

That's something that I learned in my early twenties during one of the major storms in my life was that I went through those things so that I could help others. And I know that can be hard to hear, especially if you're going through something traumatic. It's like, who cares about other people? Like, nobody.

That's not what I'm trying to say, that you're, you know, going through something hard so that you can help other people. I'm saying from my experience, my spiritual path, my purpose… I did go through these things so that I could help other people.

And even if I did not have that knowledge, just the type of person I am, just because I had to hurt, I know what that feels like. I don't want that for anyone else.

So if me sharing my stories, if me sharing my experiences can save someone else. The pain that I endured, be it from whatever circumstance or situation, and that is exactly what I will do.

Deeply In Love with Me

I find myself, like I said, deeply in love with myself. I'm loving myself more and more every day, taking More interest in improving my dietary habits, right? Really tending to my physical body more and more. I do really great when it comes to, you know, my spiritual, my mental, my emotional health, but sometimes when it comes to my body, I wasn't always as diligent.

You know, when I was younger, I ran track. I was always very active. And so again, as you get older and me being a bodyworker, it just makes sense that I am more aware of the importance of moving my body and caring for my body because I definitely want longevity.

I wanna be able to, you know, move and live and and not have to do so with pain. So that's something else that has really become, you know, of importance to me is really making sure that my physical health is just as good as my spiritual health.

On YouTube, I recorded a video where I was talking about fitness as a spiritual practice and me focusing on my physical health is something that spirit has been pushing me to do, calling for me to do and it was always something that I resisted.

And in that video, I remember saying that, you know, for me, you know, I've done all the spiritual work. But my physical container, now it needs to upgrade so that it can house that spiritual work.

So for me, yes, fitness is absolutely a spiritual practice. And one of the things that, you know, I decided is that I'm gonna do it my way.

I don't wanna go to a gym and lift weights.

That's not where I'm at right now, so I am doing fitness that feels good to me. Walking, yoga, and a yoga teacher training, also in a Belly Core Fitness class where I will have the opportunity to also become a teacher of that particular fitness practice.

Dance!! I'm dancing again, which is very powerful. Just moving my body in ways that feel good to me.

Eventually, I will probably work my way back into the gym. But for right now where I'm at, I'm doing it this way because that is what feels right for me.

A Different Vibe with Relationships

I look at my relationship with my children much differently.

The way that I… just my relationships with people, you know, I they're different. I've know what I value in any connection whether it's, you know, dating, whether it's friendship, whether it's work or business.

There are certain things that I'm just not going to tolerate.

I desire a certain level of connection. And to be in a place in space where, you know, to advocate for myself, to demand what I give, you know, it's a beautiful, beautiful place to be in.

One of the best gifts that I received for my birthday, I spent it with my best friend and my daughters. And it was just phenomenal. The day was very intuitively led.

I was drawn to go to local cafe because I saw they had empanadas. The coffee was amazing. The people were amazing. And actually I'm going there tomorrow because I get to go there. It's just great because I'm in town. I'll get to go and I'm gonna take, you know my journal and sit. I might, you know, probably take some cards with me, do some studying and I'm just gonna go there when they open.

I'm gonna have breakfast, sip some tea, empanadas. They have delicious soup. The owner is just a sweetheart. It's a family owned small business, local business.

So again, something that I feel good about supporting. So I got to go there and I met people. I've been networking more.

I've been getting out more and that the way that is healing my soul.

Connecting With My Soul Tribe

Listen.

I also met my tribe. I found a group of healers. They're massage therapists, Reiki practitioners. There's some, you know, Ifa priests in there.

Like, it's it's just this whole collective of beautiful human beings who are healers as well. And we share the same values and we have the same ideas and the same passion and drive and It's just a vibe and it's like this life that I'm living right now, it's not perfect. I'm not gonna say that, oh my god, my life isn't perfect. It's not.

There are still things that I'm working towards, but this life that I'm living right now is perfect.

It's really truly beautiful to be in this space. And had you asked me last here or the year before that or the year before that or 10 years ago.

I don't think I could have foreseen just how beautiful my life would be. Because the way that blessings are unfolding is so amazing. Now, that's not to say that there aren't some challenges. You know, there are still some areas of contrast happening. But when things like that happen, I look at it for what it is.

41 Flavors of Me!

And I can see that because I'm elevating, because I'm really walking in my path and in my light because spiritual warfare is real. So negative energies, negative entities, whatever you wanna call it, will try to come to me through the weakest link.

So whoever is susceptible to infiltration or whatever you wanna call it, then you'll oh, I've started seeing friction coming from certain people. Once I realized like, oh, okay, that's what that is. And I took my hands off it, the friction, it's still there, but it it just it doesn't bother me. I just see it for what it is. I make sure that I stay prayed up and protected and that I'm not compromising. I am not sacrificing myself for the benefit of another person.

And when I say that, what I mean is I'm not tiptoeing around people. I'm not saying yes when the answer is no. I'm not gonna say, oh, okay, fine, when I don't want to. I'm not gonna, you know, go along with the get along to make other people feel comfortable.

This really is a season about accepting all 41 flavors of me. And even now when I look back, you know, at things that I experienced as a child, things that I experienced as a young adult, things that I've experienced in my twenties and my thirties. I look at them so differently now.

The Grays

And I've got some little grays coming in. Finally, The 1st gray I got was when I was pregnant with my daughter because I was so stressed out. And that was the only gray that I had in my head. And to me, like, I love gray represents a wisdom. Right?

And so now I'm seeing like a few more, they're more so blonde or whitish, but either way, I'm like, okay, there she is. I'm moving into my my wise woman era and it feels so good. And the thing about this, especially if you're young, because I know when I look at the demographics on my podcast, there's a young age range that, that tunes in.

And one of the things that I think society really does women a grave disservice is by making It seemed that women are disposable after 30, and that's absolute bullshit.

Getting Better with Time

Life does not stop. The older you get, the more you know yourself. The more you know yourself, the better that you can stand up for yourself. The better you can advocate for yourself. The more fun you will have, the safer you will feel.

So life doesn't stop.

One of the best pieces of advice that I got was from my uncle Tony who said, “you're still young. Life doesn't begin until 40”.

When he told me that, I think I was in my early ish thirties, around 33. And I didn't get it, but I get it now. I haven't shared everything that I experienced in my 39th, 40th year, but those are things that I will be sharing more about.

But let me say this, 39 and 40 were particularly hard years of life. Not my hardest, but they were definitely hard.

So for me to be able to sit here with all of this gratitude and to be able to look at these, what appear to be insurmountable challenges and things that people, you know, did that they thought would break me, that they thought would keep me stuck, that they thought would keep me quiet.

That would they thought would just disrupt my life.

And I sit here today and I can look back And see those things for what they truly were.

And I don't have any anger. I don't have any sadness. I don't have any fear. It's just like, okay. This is what it is, but now I know THIS. Now I have more stories to tell. Now there are more ways for me to help other people because I'm not going to stop.

If anything, what I've learned is that I am unstoppable.

Only You Can Stop You

Truly, the only thing that can stop you is you.

The only thing, person, place or situation that is holding you back from living abundantly ever after, from having whatever it is you desire, the education, the career, the money, the car, the house, the peace, the adventure, the bliss, the travel, the whatever it is, is our self.

It is truly You versus you.

And I think that is what I wish I knew earlier on in life because I would think, oh, well, you know, if I was raised differently, oh, if, you know, If I hadn't been in an abusive relationship or if I didn't have, you know, kids at such an early age, or if I had have done this or If this person hadn't hurt me or, you know, all the excuses if I had made a different decision, it none of that matters.

It doesn't matter what anyone else did to us. It doesn't matter how we were raised, what our parents did, if they were there, if they weren't there, you know, if we grew up with money, without money, a little money. You know, if if you had a car, if you had to walk, if you had to take the bus, if you couldn't afford college, if you got debt, if you don't, like, It's you versus you.

Quantum Energy Field

My teacher, Abiola Abrams, said hold on, let me see if I can find it.

The quantum, the way that she described the quantum, right, you might have heard of the quantum field, quantum physics, quantum leaping, quantum healing, is that every moment is pregnant with possibility.

Every moment is pregnant with possibility.

So what are you choosing moment to moment?

Because for me I am choosing myself. I am choosing my dreams, my goals, goals, my passions, my hobbies, my health, my wealth, my body, my children.

I'm choosing the best version of a life that I can possibly choose in each moment. And when those situations happen where it seems like, oh, gosh, like nothing's changed or people keep fucking with me or, you know, just whatever, I look at it and I can see that something is trying to distract me from my Abundantly Ever After, and so I double down on moving my body.

I double down on honoring my ancestors. I double down on writing in my journal. I phone a friend. I uplift myself because I know that whatever it is I'm doing is working. And if I stop that creates a window of opportunity for me to slip out of alignment and I refuse to do that.

So especially for it doesn't matter if you're my young viewers, if you're my older viewers because I do have a wide variety of listening ages, but I've truly said all that to say that it's you versus you! Because, and I tell my daughter this so I have an 8 year old and a soon to be 21 year old.

You are always always able to choose in every moment.

YOU vs. you

It's not about anybody else it's about you versus you.

It's the old you versus the new you.

It's the scared you versus the confident you.

It's the struggle you versus the abundant you.

It's the you that think you can't.

It's the you that knows you can.

It's always you versus you.

So if I was in my twenties and I knew that shit, I would have done so many things differently, but I'm not.

But I can tell my 8 year old daughter that. I can tell my 21 year old daughter that. I can get on the internet and tell millions of people that it is you versus you.

And when you realize that You disempower anyone or anything that you think is trying to come up against you.

You disempower your parents and their, you know, desire for you to do whatever they feel that you should be doing with your life. You disempower the haters that sit around and talk junk about you.

You disempower any entity, any person, any being, any spirit who thought that they had control over you because you realize nothing is more powerful than you and your world and your reality.

Nobody can tell me about me, like me, but me.

Nobody can stop me from living the life that I want but me. That will only not occur if I sit down, if I give up. And that's why I'm here today, because I never gave up in spite of the people who have hurt me, in spite of the negative and harmful situations that I've been in. In spite of all the trauma, all the things and times people told me I can't, I shouldn't, I wouldn't, I won't, I don't matter, I'm this, I'm that.

I believed in me even if it was hard, even if spirit had to intervene and give me a sign that says, hey, you're gonna get through this. I still had hope in me. Just a little spark. That's all you need. Like they say, faith the side of a mustard seed.

Choose Yourself Every Single Time

Sometimes that's all I had. But you lean into that and you choose yourself.

You choose the best version of yourself. You choose the vision of life that you have for you and that is how you continue to elevate, that is how you continue to grow, and next then you know you're living your Abundantly Ever After. And it just it gets better. Life really does get better. I love the skin that I am in. I cut my locks I think in 2022 too.

Yep. Because I was still in massage therapy school. I cut my locks. And so, like, I'm really just loving the process of letting my hair grow out. I've gotten back in the process of creating my own, you know, skincare products and really just taking care of myself in the way that I desire to take care of myself. I am going to play with my hair for a little while. I'm gonna let it grow out. Definitely going to relock it and just enjoying becoming the woman that I desire to be.

21 Days of Expansion Journey

And that is what like the 21 days of expansion journey is all about too. Because for me, I know who I wanna be. I know the things that I desire to do on a daily basis. I know the type of business that I am building, the people that I want to serve. How I would like to use my gifts to support other people in the world.

And so that is what my focus is. And I don't let that change. I don't let it stop me even when there are ups and downs. I feel like I've been over so many mountains and so many hurdles that now I can bounce back just a little bit quicker, so it makes it a bit easeful for me to just navigate life's challenges and that's the beautiful thing about having some age on you.

Wisdom & Experience with Age

You've been through enough to know that you can get through something else and you know enough to know that you don't have to go through nothing else.

You can circumvent the BS by choosing differently, especially within the relationship space, this guy that I had dated briefly, like, sent me this message saying, you know, he missed my energy and blah blah blah. I didn't respond. I deleted the message.

But even, like, responding to things like that, I'm like, I don't want people in my life who don't appreciate me when I'm there. If you have to miss me in order to appreciate me, I do not want you because that means you did not appreciate me to begin with. You might have appreciated what I was doing for you at the time, but you didn't truly appreciate me because you would have never let me go. Think about it.

You get let's say you get some nice Louis Vuitton shoes. Right? You're not gonna just, I don't know. Throw them outside. When you take them off, you're probably gonna put them back in the box, put them back in the little bag that they come in. You're gonna treat them with care. Things that you don't care about, you don't necessarily treat well. Right? My little Nike slides, I just kick them off. Sometimes I'll leave them in the car.

Whatever. Like they're not a $600 pair of shoes. You know, they're my little kick arounds. So we, you know, and again, that that is something that comes with experience and wisdom recognizing that how people treat you is how they treat you.

And I know a lot of times I you know, I do talk about forgiveness, but at same time, there's certain things that I'm not willing to allow back into my life. Yeah. I can forgive you for not, I don't know. I don't feel like there's really anything to forgive in that particular instance, but I'm just saying like I can forgive you, but I don't have to fuck with you.

Forgiveness Doesn't Grant You Access

I can forgive you and I don't have to ever speak to you again. And I think that's what some people misconstrue. Like forgiveness doesn't grant access.

Forgiveness to me is a personal practice that I do so that I can move forward so that I can make peace and move on. Forgiveness allows closure.

Me resuming conversation or connection with someone who never truly appreciated me. I don't need to do that. I don't need closure from them.

I don't need your apology. I don't need anything from you except for you to leave me alone. Because with you out of my life it's been better. When you were in my life, so now that you're out of my life, I'm good, I'm happy, I'm at peace.

I wanna keep it that way. So yeah, let's just keep it that way. But I'm really grateful because too when I say no to the wrong people, the right people show up. I forget when that happened but I'll say maybe a week later.

A whole group of people, the type of people that I have been desiring in my life just popped up. Popped right up. Because I chose myself and it's beautiful. So if you're like, oh my gosh, I'm getting older. This isn't… Enjoy the ride because it's beautiful.

Don't let society make you think that because you're aging that you're not worthy, that you're not Important that you're not still smart, beautiful, sexy. That you're not capable. That you're not needed because that's absolute bullshit.

F*ck Ageism

I find that women get stronger as we age. And I think that is part of why society tries to make it seem like, oh, women, your biological clock and, oh, you're gonna your skin and your boobs are gonna all that's bullshit because older women are still beautiful.

There were many women in their, like, fifties, sixties. I think there was even a woman in her seventies that got pregnant. So I don't subscribe to the the stuff that they try to say to ageism. Boom. That's the word. It's ageism.

Like, we cannot be discarded when we are creators.

There's so much that I am working on behind the scenes that I want to bring forward to support children including girls and boys, like they young girls need, like, there's just so much! So many ways that I wanna serve the community as a large, to serve the Black community. Men, lord, definitely carving out space to support men because they need it. Bless. They need it. They really truly do. And, yeah, just showing up more.

So I'm working on Instagram figuring out again. I feel like Instagram is gonna be the place that I show up the most. I have been putting videos on YouTube as well just like mainly like some tarot deck reviews because I've gotten a couple decks in that I wanted to share.

But definitely Instagram, I will be beginning to post on a more regular basis. So yeah. Like this is beautiful. I love myself. I have some self love journals and content available that I will be putting out as well.

Life Get's Better

But just know that life gets better.

It always gets better and we have the ability to choose in each moment. And that is how we quantum leap by looking at the possibility that is in each moment in the now, but we have to be present for it. I

f I was living in the past or worried about getting older or I would not see the magic that is happening in my life right now. And I think that Forty has been the most magical time period in my life. I will also say this is the 1st time period that I have not had a man in my life that was using, manipulating, abusing me.

In my twenties, I was in a relationship that was physically abusive. And then the person in my thirties was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and financially. So I feel like I've gotten enough of that type of connection.

It's taught me a lot of things. And I also want to talk about, there was something that came up. I was journaling out some ideas in how a lot of times what we're seeing from and this is not to excuse harmful, toxic, unhealthy, abusive behavior. But a lot of times what we're seeing is a spirit in a person. And yes… There's there's just a lot. I won't dive too deep into that, but if that's something you're interested in hearing more about, let me know.

Energies of Love Course

I also plan on updating the Energies of Love course because like I said, I've learned a lot of new things, and there's so many different nuances and different types of relationships. I want to start adding different layers like a layer for single parenting, co parenting. And there was something else, but I just forgot. But, yeah, I just wanna add different layers. And when people purchase the full course that is on my website, I wanna check real quick and see. Give me one second. I wanna see what the price is. Cause I'm not sure, but with the full.

Okay. So it is 197, the full energy of love of course. In that, I do coaching calls as well as there's a Q&A library. So if that's something that you want to enroll in. I gotta check and make sure. Oh, yeah. Everything's updated on there. Then, yeah, let me know.

And it is there so I can set up the different coaching calls. You can get asked questions about your particular relationship or situation and get feedback. And that also helps me to build out additional layers and levels within the course.

So I cannot wait to just bring forward this body of work that has been living in me. And that's another thing. I would not be this determined or focused before because even still there was so much more fear and like, oh my gosh, is this the right thing? Or how do I do it? And now it's just like, just show up, just be you and do all the things that you wanna do. Because before I also had a lot of because I had a lot of projects that I was doing. I had healing single mothers.

Reclaiming Myself and My Work

I had The Spiritual Love Healer. There was spiritual love tarot because I wanted to do my tarot talks and things like that. I feel like there was something, the abundantly ever after show. And then I had spiritual love sanctuary, the local business aspect.

And I felt like I was juggling all these balls, but I was unclear on how they fit together. But I am the glue. Like I'm how they fit together. And so, you know, in a reclamation of self, I decided just use my name on social media.

And that was something that I was always afraid of like since the inception of social media because, oh my gosh, Everyone's there. But now it's like, no, like, this is who I am and it doesn't matter where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, what I'm wearing. This is who I am.

So you'll see me, you know, dressed up and I've got all my head wraps and looking all fly. You'll see me in a t-shirt just, you know, with a ball cap on, like, this is who I am and I don't need to water it down or sugarcoat it for anybody because for what? And you should not either.

I think the way, you know, the world is, like, there's space for all of us. Like, we shouldn't have to code switch. We shouldn't have to wear our hair a certain way because it's deemed professional.

Jovhannah Tisdale [00:34:54]:

We shouldn't have to you know, there's just so many different things and I'm not doing it. I'm doing me. And that is what I feel the biggest gift I had this year was freedom.

Freedom

Freedom from trauma from toxic and unhealthy people, relationships, situations, just absolute freedom. And in freeing myself from all of that, like I regained my power.

I regained my strength, My energy, my creativity, like just all of me. And it feels so good when you get to a place in your life, when you have access to all of you.

So thank you my beautiful friends for tuning in to this episode of the Abundantly Ever After show.

I'm going to upload because I'm not sure if I have uploaded the video about Fitness as a Spiritual Practice to the YouTube channel. So I will check and upload that and link it here or either I'll just add it as a podcast episode.

But either way, so you can check that out if that's something that you are interested in. I will also leave the link for the Energy of Love course.

It was created to really help you say goodbye to struggle love, to get out of heartbreak hotel and in love limbo so that you can understand the energy of love and how it can present itself.

So you'll learn about low vibrational relationships, karmic relationships, high vibe relationships, and spiritual love. Because when you know about love and how it operates as a frequency that helps you understand how it shows up in certain relationships, why it shows up that way.

And it can help you stop attracting the same type of men so that you can level up in love and align with healthy love connections, which is what I desire for all of us because truly at the core love is all there is and whenever there is hatred or fear, lack scarcity, limitation that is a sign asking for healing so that that energy can be transmuted into love. Alright.

Thank you again for tuning in. I'm your host, Jovannah Tisdale. Come hang out with me over on IG. Check the description for all the links, and I'll see you next time. Peace.